Suspecting that your partner is cheating on you can be very tough. Everything gets scrutinized and paranoia doesn’t allow a good night’s sleep. From time to time, this fear surfaces and the whole worrying process begins anew. Sometimes, it can be without basis or not true while the other times can be very devastating. Perhaps your partner really does have to work late, or the girl he was with the other day was just his sister or cousin. If you’re really doubtful and restless, then here are some sure ways how to find out if your partner is cheating on you.
Is overtime happening more frequent than normal? Or are night outs becoming too common even during the weekday? One sure way to notice something is through changes in routine. It could be something simple like the times they go out for grocery shopping, or it could be something really noticeable like the way they dress or act.
If something doesn’t sit right with you, don’t immediately assume the worst. Take time to observe your partner’s behavior first. It could be a change they found out and are trying to apply in their own life, or it may be due to someone else’s suggestion for improvement. If you’re really bothered by this change in their routine, then you can confront them and ask why they suddenly do so. A clear answer can remove doubts and put you at ease – it’s when the answers are vague or when denial happens when you should be more suspicious.
Sudden Acts of Kindness
If your partner is suddenly nicer than usual for no apparent reason, it can be a reason for suspicion. Your partner might be nice to you because they feel guilty for having an affair or keeping secrets. Of course, what we’re talking about is a drastic change in personality, like when your partner was very distant and didn’t go out of their way for you but suddenly they shower you with affection and kindness.
On the flip side, your partner might be trying to cheer you up or bring back that honeymoon phase in your relationship by being sweet. If the both of you are having a rough time or if you’re experiencing a dry spell in your love life, then your partner could be trying to rekindle the flame.
If your partner begins to distance himself/herself from your social circles then it can also be reason for worry. For one thing, distancing from people who your partner was previously close with could be a sign of guilt. Since they don’t want to see how many people they will hurt with their affair, they choose to steer clear from these people.
Another reason why your partner would want to stay away from people close to you is that they might be able to pick up on some other telltale signs of their affair. To stay safe, they would choose to find new friends instead.
Spending a few nights with their own social circles is very common and even healthy. What makes it strange is when they start spending more time on these night outs and they prioritize these nights more than your relationship. In addition, if their story changes from time to time, the names of people they’re with don’t seem familiar, and if you can’t contact them during this time, its real reason for worry.
Another way of looking at it is that if your partner is spending too much time with their friends (legitimately), then they could be confiding their problems or getting emotional support from them. This means that there could be trouble brewing in your marriage.
Again, this has something to do with routine. If your partner was never much of a workaholic before but suddenly spends long hours or frequently goes on business trips without notice of a new project or promotion, then you might want to look into it more.
Long suspicious hours aren’t just limited to the office. It could also be the time they go to the convenience store, the bank or salon. A good way to bust this habit is to attempt to go with your partner when they say they’re going somewhere. If they’re very adamant that you don’t go with them to the grocery store or if you go with them but they take shorter than their usual time – that there is a warning flag already.
Sure, your partner might let you read the messages on their phone when you ask for it. However the problem now arises when you open their phone and you notice that they erased their message history. There’s not much reason to do that with today’s phones so it is very suspicious. If you confront them with it, they might give some vague answer instead. What you can do is to check it from time to time and see if the message history is always deleted. If it is, then that’s another reason for worry.
It’s not also for the phones only. It could also be their social network profiles. With social network sites, it can be very easy for people to ‘hook up’ and flirt. It might cross over some privacy issues, but when you’re suspicious about your partner’s activity then you should go all out. After all, if they have nothing to hide then they wouldn’t mind showing their social network profile to you – it’s not like they’re giving you unlimited access or anything.
For changes in sex drive, there are two possibilities: the first one is that your partner might become insatiable when it comes to sex, or the second one is that they might be too passive about it. In the first scenario, your partner’s sex drive can ramp up because they have been seeing another person and they’re used to having sex multiple times. Additionally, they might even be more adventurous in bed. Again, this can be attributed because your partner is seeing someone and they might have picked up a move or two with their newfound intimate friend.
In the second case, they become too passive than normal. Of course, if your sex life has been dry for quite some time, that doesn’t immediately mean that your partner is cheating. What we specifically mean is that you had great sex last week then suddenly in the following weeks your partner doesn’t want to do it and just throws excuses at you.
There isn’t really a full-proof method on finding out if your partner is cheating on you. It involves calculated guesswork and also closely observing your partner. As you can tell from some of our tips, some scenarios have multiple outcomes, some of which don’t involve cheating at all. If you go ballistic and confront your partner for every small reason, it could cause unnecessary stress and be destructive for you both. You should proceed carefully and try to think each move carefully.