Cheating in a relationship can be a deal breaker. It ruins trust, destroys relationships and it can be hard to make things the way they were before the event. For the girlfriend’s side, it can be hard to accept the act and even harder to think how the guy could have done that when everything was going smoothly. Here are a couple of reasons to help you understand why men cheat.
When you fight at home, it creates a certain mindset for the guy wherein the house is associated with troubles and discomfort. This scenario actually gives him two options: fight or flee. Fighting back means confronting the problem and discussing feelings. Unfortunately, men aren’t generally good at it. Instead, the common choice is to flee.
In an affair, the guy is looking to be comfortable with another person and regain his sense of peace. What the guy is actually telling his own self is that he has no problems and life continues in a better way with that “outside support”.
In the beginning stages of a relationship there’s the honeymoon phase. The couple is still exploring their partner’s personality and quirks. This creates a feeling of excitement and mystery. As the years go by, this is replaced with routines and thus leads to boredom. Finding a new partner fills in this need for mystery and recreates that certain “spark”. Instead of finding ways to make their own relationship exciting, guys turn to other women for that quick gratification. In their own relationship, the guy finds it too troublesome to resolve issues, big or small. Having an affair gives new experiences which can be too strong for some guys to resist.
Sex is a very important part in a relationship especially marriage. Some guys out there might be contented spending the rest of their marriage life having sex with a single partner for many years while other find the need for experimentation overwhelming. Keep in mind though that in this scenario, the guy prefers a sexual affair out of need, rather than a consistent option. Having multiple sexual partners is not a problem for them and they don’t think twice before sleeping with another woman. Partially, this makes the guy feel sexually powerful and in charge of their relationship.
Even though guys are not good at showing it, they still have emotional needs. While you might be too busy with your own life, working, raising the children, or even looking after your parents, the guy is left waiting in the emotional department. They might not show it – they’re terrible at that – guys still want to be appreciated with their efforts in work and managing the household.
In some cases, your love languages or personalities might be incompatible so whatever you do, the guy will always be lacking in terms of emotional support. In this scenario, the guy is most likely to cheat with his co-worker or colleague – someone who looks up to him, and compliments him regularly. He feels an emotional connection with this new person and he’ll go through the honeymoon phase with her all over again.
History of Cheating
For the first part, guys who have been raised in a household where cheating happened are likely to cheat in their own relationships later. This is because what they saw in their own house they would later come to accept as normal or acceptable behavior. Even if it’s not from their parents, if they had a sibling who cheated and got away with it, reinforces the thinking that cheating is okay or exciting. For guys like this, having multiple relationships is normal and even desirable. Since they think that it’s normal, they try their hardest to foster multiple relationships even though they know deep down that it’s wrong.
Another case is when a guy has cheated before in his past relationship and gotten away with it. It provided him with a certain sense of excitement and power. In case of future relationships he will still long for that feeling again. He thinks that since he has done it before, he can do it again and will try without hesitation once the opportunity presents itself. It’s even possible for guys like these to hook up with their ex-girlfriends just for a sense of thrill.
If a guy is in a relationship wherein the woman cheats, he will also have a huge desire to cheat. Even if the woman comes clean and attempts to break the extra-marital relationship, guys will still continue theirs. This is because men don’t easily forgive and forget. Even though they hate to admit it, guys hold grudges more than women. They feel that they have to “punish” their wives to the limit or even to the point of breaking their marriage just to get back at her.
In some cases, the guy might want to end the relationship but doesn’t have the guts to confront the situation. Instead, they have an affair and even set up their own demise – getting caught deliberately. To make matters worse, guys always justify this style, saying that it’s better for the woman to hate them so that they can move on easily. In simple terms, it’s just the coward’s way out.
Some guys think that having a mistress or two on the side constitutes to bragging or a feeling of being successful. It can be difficult to accept, but when a guy is moving up the corporate ladder, they would want to show it off somehow and what better way to do it than to have an illegitimate affair to make things exciting and get that feeling of empowerment.
There are situations when you really love your guy, so you’re willing to turn a blind eye and accept him back within a heartbeat. Once he knows or if he has experienced this, he’ll get comfortable and use it against you. He’ll be more confident in cheating knowing that he did it before and you accepted that. Knowing that you’ll take him back will actually encourage him to repeat the act and create a cycle which benefits him while hurting you.
Drugs and Sex
In the cases of one-night stands, the use of drugs and alcohol lead to lower inhibitions and poor judgment. Even if they were not willing or didn’t mean to, things can easily go from little provocation to sex. Of course, since they didn’t mean to, the guy would usually regret things like this and come clean. How you respond to his behavior is up to you, you could move on and learn from this situation or leave him.
With society’s morals becoming looser and the culture becoming more open-minded, there are many reasons why men cheat in a relationship. As we mentioned, the result or the reaction how you deal with it can affect the future of your relationship so tread carefully once your guy has cheated. He may repeat the offense or change for the better. Just don’t trust 100% always.